insane food

Insane Gluten Free and Dairy Free Pancetta Alfredo

Insane Gluten-Free and Dairy-Free Pancetta AlfredoImage


Recently, Nicole was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. As with many things, food and diet play a huge role into how your body reacts. One important thing for the disease is to avoid a lot of potential food allergens, as well as anything that can cause inflammation (which the majority of the time go hand-in-hand). To a bit less serious about the ordeal, Nicole really wanted bacon and Robb really wanted noodles. Thus stemming this somewhat obscure reference to an alfredo or ummm . . . almond cheese sauce. It does sound weird, but believe us, when everything gets together it’s INSAAAANE.


What you’ll need:

1 cup Unsweetened almond milk

Approx 1/2 cup Almond milk cheese

1/4 lb. of Pancetta and bacon mixed

4 Portobello mushrooms

1 box Gluten free penne noodles

5 Garlic Cloves (yes, we like garlic)

1/2 Onion 

2 Shallots

1 Tbs. Coconut oil

Fresh sage (to taste)

Fresh ground pepper

Red wine (of choice!)


Now, before you get started, this first step is crucial to the execution of the dish. Pour yourself and your assistant a glass of wine.

Second major point, there is never enough garlic or pepper for either of us. Add the amounts that you please to your recipe.


Next! Make sure the onions, garlic, and shallots are chopped with care. In hopes that the juicy and smoky cured meats would soon be there. Rough cut the pancetta, bacon, and portobello mushrooms. Then, finish this off with a beautiful light browning in the coconut oil. Halfway through, sprinkle in some fresh-chopped sage and ground pepper. After everything looks beautifully browned, set this pan aside, and place a lid on it.



In pan number two, we started the cheese sauce.

Insane efficiency tip:  While you’re starting this, also start to boil water for your noodles.

For lack of better word, the cheese sauce can be a bit tricky. For starters, by definition, it isn’t exactly cheese. First, pour the almond milk into the pan. While that heats, chop some of the “cheese” into small flat rectangles. After the almond milk starts to slowly simmer, add the chopped cheese to the mix. A flat spatula is a great tool to use. With this handy little device, you can clean the sides of the pan, stir the milk, and mash the cheese. The more it heats up the better it gets. At this time, it is a good idea to also throw in some more sage and pepper if it suits you. Get this mixture as smooth as you can. Please don’t be discouraged if the texture is a bit different. Once you get it in your dish, you won’t even remember what the texture was like.


Cook your noodles al dente, then strain them.

Use your creative freedom to plate this however you would like.



Insane recommendation:  If you want to spice up the dish more, it was great with smoked paprika and cayenne. 

However, we do not recommend adding any salt to this recipe. Cured meats are very salty on their own.




Green Chile Mac!

Insane Green Chile Macaroni and Cheese


Macaroni and Cheese is one of those ultimate childhood favorites and is most definitely comfort food.  So how do we make it Insane? – Add green chiles, curry, onions, bread crumbs, and then bake it!!

What You’ll Need:

– 1/2 Lb of your choice of pasta (elbow macaroni or penne)
– 2 4oz cans of diced green chiles (Fresh Anaheim’s would be an insane substitue here!)
– 3 tablespoon butter
– 3 tablespoon flour
– 1 tablespoon powdered curry
– 1 teaspoon red chili flakes
– 3 cups milk
– 1/2 cup yellow onion, finely diced
– 3 cloves of garlic (chopped)
– 1 large egg
– 12 ounces sharp cheddar, shredded
– 1 teaspoon salt
– Fresh black pepper
-3 tablespoons butter
-1 cup bread crumbs (we used Panko)



Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and start a pot of boiling water.
While the pasta is cooking, in a separate pot, melt the butter. Whisk in the flour and curry and stir for about five minutes – Make sure it’s not lumpy! Stir in the milk, onion, garlic, red chili flakes, and green chiles. Simmer until slightly reduced (approx 10 minutes)


Temper in the egg. Stir in 3/4 of the cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Once your pasta is done, fold it into the mix and pour into a 2-quart casserole dish. Top with remaining cheese.

Melt the butter in a saute pan and toss the bread crumbs to coat. Saute so they brown! Top the macaroni with the bread crumbs. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and rest for five minutes before serving.  ENJOY!



Insane Crockpot Pulled Pork


Hola pork fans! This is a quick and easy favorite (I am saying this blindly, since Robb has made pulled-pork before and I have not) that we decided to make our way and have a little fun with. We hope you love it!

There are a couple of different cuts of pork that can be used for this. We picked up two tenderloins at Trader Joe’s for ours. Shortly after we brought those babies home, we chopped some of our favorite fresh herbs (all ingredients listed below) and fresh garlic cloves – then proceeded to sprinkle all of that goodness over the tenderloins. You will probably come to notice that we like our food a bit on the spicy side; so, naturally, we added a bit of red pepper flake and dried cayenne powder. Then, those bad boys got wrapped up tightly in saran wrap to marinate overnight. Oh yeah and I might’ve punched them a few times, just for good measure (or to tenderize them).  The next morning before he left for work, Robb put the marinated tenderloins in the crockpot and turned it on low (because he is awesome). When we got home later that day we had some insane pulled pork ready!  We made tacos one night and grilled sandwiches the following as this makes plenty for several meals.

What you’re going to need:

– Two Pork Tenderloins

– 1 18 oz Jar Apricot preserves

– 1 18 oz bottle BBQ sauce

– 1 Red bell pepper

– 1 Small Honeycrisp Apple

– 1 Yellow onion

– 1 Mandrin orange

– Garlic (fresh)

– Sage

– Basil

– Rosemary

– Pepper

– Candied Ginger

– Cayenne Pepper powder

– Red pepper flakes


Let’s start with the pork.  Season your cut of pork with finely chopped sage, basil, rosemary, garlic, and cracked pepper.  Add cayenne powder and red pepper flake to taste. Wrap the meat up in saran wrap and let it sit in the fridge overnight.


Grab your crockpot and add a full jar of apricot preserves and BBQ sauce (we love Sweet Baby Ray’s). Following that, add chopped bell pepper, apple, onion and mandarin orange. The ginger, cayenne and red pepper flake are an optional kick if you would like a little spice in your dish. We left the sauce in the refrigerator overnight and the next morning added the pork and let it cook on low for eight hours. When it’s done, the pork is so tender you can pull it apart with two forks.


You can enjoy this pulled pork in tacos, sandwiches or whatever else you can think of. Side dishes can also be a simple component to add to make this a complete meal. We made simple oven baked home fries with the tacos and a cole slaw with the sandwiches. Check back later for recipes for those delicious and easy sides!

Soup and Salad


For our first post we wanted to start with something simple yet insanely good (and healthy). There are a lot of cold wet days in the Pacific Northwest and after a long shift at work, there is nothing better than a quick, easy, and hot meal.

What you’re going to need:

– Trader Joe’s (or Pacific) Roasted Red Pepper Tomato soup
– Red, orange, or yellow bell pepper
– Pepper Jack cheese
– Cheese of choice (We recommend Trader Joe’s White Stilton with Apricot)
– One fresh mandrin orange
– 1/3 yellow onion
– 2 large garlic cloves
– 1 Carrot
– 1/2 Zucchini
– Baby Kale
– Spinach
– Grape or cherry tomatoes (sliced in half)
– Red pepper flakes
-Fresh Basil
-Salad dressing of choice (We recommend Trader Joe’s Orange Muscat Champagne Vinegar)


For the soup we used one of our favorites – Trader Joe’s Roasted Red Pepper Tomato soup. We added 1/3 of an onion along with 2 garlic cloves (chopped of course). We also diced up 1 whole bell pepper, half a zucchini, and a carrot to add to the mix. Baby Kale and sliced grape tomatoes are an awesome addition to this. For spice we added red pepper flakes.  Let it cook until all the veggies are tender and top off with pepper jack cheese and fresh chopped basil. 


Salad is always easy and doesn’t really need an explanation but this how we do it. We made a spinach salad with grape tomatoes, bell pepper, and mandrin orange slices. Trader Joe’s Orange Muscat Champagne Vinegar and White Stilton cheese with Apricot makes this salad INSANELY tasty!